Kurt Russell To Star in Horror Western Bone Tomahawk!

Bone-TomahawkFeatKurt Russell has one hell of a 2015 on the docket. He’ll appear in the highly anticipated seventh film of the increasingly wonderful Fast & Furious series, as directed by James Wan (Insidious). He’ll also return to the western front, re-teaming with Quentin Tarantino on The Hateful Eight and having just completed the subject at hand: a horror-western entitled Bone Tomahawk. I’m so wet right now.

Bone Tomahawk sternly threatens to be the greatest movie ever made as it features Russell (Escape From New York, The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China) teaming with Richard Jenkins, as well as Patrick Wilson and Matthew Fox, to face off with a band of cannibals (also described as cannibalistic troglodytes). Continue reading

Beer & A Movie: Big Trouble In Little China/ Great Divide Yeti “A Big Beer For Big Trouble!”

big-trouble-in-little-china-This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talking to whoever’s listening out there…actually, I’m Matt Smith of the Who Goes There Podcast, and I’m pleased as piss to be part of this month’s “Beer & A Movie”!

Our buddies over at Three B Zine, Craft Beer Tasters, and Reviews Galore (check out their reviews at the respective links) have a monthly column where they review a movie and pair it with a beer that shares some kind of theme with the film. October’s movie just so happens to be 1986’s cult classic Big Trouble In Little China, directed by horror legend John Carpenter. Anyone who knows me, has met me, or has even heard our show, knows I eat, sleep and shit BTILC. They then decided; not getting me involved would be like going to battle with Lo Pan without your six demon bag!

With my obsessive love of this absolutely brilliant film, I thought “oh, this will be easy! I’ll be in and out, like the wind.” Then I hit a ten foot tall road block (with light comin’ out of his mouth): what could you possibly pair with greatness? I’ll tell you what you pair with greatness: more fuckin’ greatness! This is exactly why I chose Yeti by Great Divide, a BIG beer, for some BIG trouble!

20141003_080205Everything about Great Divide’s Yeti fits perfect with this movie; let’s look in shall we? First, there’s the name of the beer, “Yeti”; there is a large Sasquatch type character (known as the “Chinese Wild Man”) who plays a pretty big part in the film. Now what about the brewery? Great Divide, this is a reoccurring theme in the film, everything in the film boils down to one extreme vs the other: Chang Sing vs Wing Kong, East vs West, good vs evil, light vs dark, not to mention the “great divide” of Wang Chi and his fiance Miao Yin, the reason this whole damn thing began!

Yeti is an incredibly dark Imperial Stout, darker than black blood of the earth! Weighing in at a huge 9.5% ABV, it’ll tear you up worse than The Three Storms in a back alley brawl, but is as sweet as Miao Yin in a silk nightgown. A combination more rare than a Chinese girl with green eyes, yet sure to appease any emperor. One bottle of this and you’ll be as cock-eyed as Egg Shen in no time. As much as I love this beer, and “there have been others, there are always others to be sure” I’m not here to talk beer, son!


Now you may be asking yourself, “how much do you really like Big Trouble In Little China”? To which I would respond with a cosmic bitch slap and a “Don’t you EVER question my love of BTILC”!

My father was never a great man, but the greatest thing he ever did, was big-trouble-chang-singshow me BTILC when I was 5 years old, and it’s been my favorite movie ever since. No horse shit, Wang. I have a cartoon Jack Burton tattoo on my forearm, several BTILC shirts, action figures, posters, several of my email addresses and login names are BTILC references, hell I even married a Chinese girl! (no green eyes, but science willing!) There’s even pictures of me as a young kid throwing up this Chang Sing sign.

Originally written as a western, (yeah, look it up) 1986’s Big Trouble in Little China follows Jack Burton; (the almighty Kurt Russell) the arrogant, wise cracking, truck driver, who after a night of drinking and gambling drives his pal Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) to the airport to pick up his fiance Miao Yin from the airport after flying her to the US from China…then shit gets crazy! Miao Yin is kidnapped by the Lords of Death street gang, sending our heroes(?) on the ride of their lives!

bigtrouble05Jack and Wang must track down and rescue Miao Yin, who has been kidnapped by Lo Pan, (James Hong) a 2,000 year old Chinese sorcerer, who angered his emperor and was cursed to be of no flesh, until he married and sacrificed a girl with green eyes.

Along the way Jack and Wang team up with Egg Shen, (Victor Wong) a Chinese sorcerer who must fulfill his destiny of destroying Lo Pan, and Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall) a know it all reporter, dead set on exposing Lo Pan and all his evil doings, and the Chang Sings, a gooood street gang?

The Good: Everything, duh! What more could you want? This movie is non stop action, from street fight, to narrow escape, to narrow escape, to narrow escape, to gang fight. Monsters, Chinese black magic, and a shit load of kung fu, biting the head off a fish that looks like a tamale, this movie has a little something for everyone, hell there’s even a love story or two. Oh, and did I mention it’s directed by John Carpenter? In addition, as with every John Carpenter film it’s got an incredible score, done by Carpenter himself.

The Bad: You shut your whore mouth!

Overall: This is a cheesy early 80’s action film, and if you take it as anything more 20141003_094252you’ve completely missed the point. Russell and Carpenter even get hammered in the DVD extras, and point out that aside from the very end of the film, our “hero”, Jack Burton, doesn’t seem to actually do anything heroic through the entire film. It’s a fun, action packed ride, for those who can appreciate a movie for what it’s supposed to be: fuckin awesome! And you know what ol’ Jack says, “Fuck it”. (Yes he does!)

Now, nothin or double, says this knife cuts this bottle in half.

“On Set With John Carpenter” Boasts Never Before Seen Halloween Photos

On-Set-with-John-Carpenter-by-Kim-Gottlieb-WalkerNow available for pre-order on Amazon is “On Set with John Carpenter”, a new book featuring never-before-seen photography from his classics including Halloween.

Explains the release: “As a hot new maverick director/writer John Carpenter invited photographer Kim Gottlieb-Walker onto the sets of some of his most iconic films: Halloween, Halloween II, The Fog, Christine and Escape From New York. Continue reading

Jack’s Back! Big Trouble In Little China Comics On the Way!

henryswansonThis is hands down the most exciting news I’ve had the privilege of reporting on Who Goes There! If you’ve listened to our show at all you know I’m mildly obsessed with Big Trouble In Little China, well guess what; Jack’s back! No I don’t mean Bauer. (although he’s back too.)

This June, BOOM! Studios will tell you just what ol’ Jack Burton says in his continuing adventures in Big Trouble In Little China, a new, ongoing series from comics favorites Eric Powell (The Goon) and Brian Churilla (The Sixth Gun: Sons of the Gun). Continue reading

Who Goes There?! Podcast Episode 16 – Gettin Shitty w/ ThreeBZine

Three B ZineHello there chiiiiiildren! We took a different approach to the episode this week, we were having drinks with our buddy Cody from ThreeBZine.com. and decided “Hey! We’ve had tons of beers, why not do a podcast?!” So we did, and it’s amazing. We don’t do a movie review this time around. Instead, we talk horror news, movies that have scared us, what we want from horror movies, and a lot more. Find out why Jorge feels guilty for banging weenie, what Matt is actually good for, and all kinds of other dumb shit you’ll lose brain cells hearing. Tune in next time when we still do whatever we want; because in a land of crap, we’re the shit!

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